In a competitive job market, references can be the final hurdle to a dream job. But job seekers who had a difficult relationship with their former employer—or simply find their former employer difficult—face not one, but two big problems: how to deal with someone who might be giving a bad reference, and how to find someone who’ll give a better reference.
Not easy, and it may be worse than you think, according to U.S. News and World Report:
So, what do you do if you think a previous boss is likely to give you a bad reference? Simply not listing that person as a reference isn't enough; reference-checkers can call anyone you've worked for, or who might know you, even if they aren't on the list you provide. In fact, smart reference-checkers will make a point of calling people not on your list, because presumably you've only listed the people most likely to present you in the best light.
The article's three suggestions for how to handle the situation (ask the former employer if he or she would be willing to negotiate what will be said when a reference inquiry is made, complain to the former employer’s HR department that the supervisor is giving inaccurate information that may be grounds for legal action, and/or warn the prospective employer that a bad reference might be coming) are gutsy, but more confrontational than many people are willing to get. And any of them could backfire.
Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. How can you present the kind of references that will blow away hiring managers and ensure they don’t feel the need to go after any others? The first thing is to broaden the scope of who you’re considering asking for a reference. Few employers require more than three references, and it needn’t be your last three employers. If you’re being considered for a managerial position, a cross-section of one former supervisor, one employee you supervised, and a longtime personal reference can be an excellent choice.
This is a great list of 10 possible people in your life to consider for a reference, and some of them are people who rarely get considered, yet whose opinion can be authoritative and influential: a volunteer coordinator, a teacher or a sports teammate you’ve worked or played with can be good choices. Former customers and clients can be great references, too, depending on your field.
Susan Adams of Forbes points out that an important next step (which often gets overlooked) is to go over with your references what they might say when asked about you. If you feel comfortable enough to do this, it’s a good bet you’ve made the right choice.
There’s also the question of reference etiquette, and here’s a good guide. It points out that thinking ahead can save you a lot of headaches later on:
Ideally you should never leave a company without asking for a reference letter on company letterhead. That way, if you lose contact with everyone at a particular company, you will always have the reference letter to provide to potential employers.
Never, of course, provide a reference without asking permission. It’s one more way to be sure you never run into what Adams writes about:
When Sarah Stamboulie worked in human resources at Morgan Stanley and then at Cantor Fitzgerald, she routinely checked job applicants' references. They were not always positive. "You know it's bad when you ask about the person, and then there's that pause," she says. "Or they might say, 'Is attendance important to you?'" Or they claim that their company policy prevents them from talking about the person. "If you get three of those, you're, like, this person is not good," says Stamboulie, who is now a career coach in New York.
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